Page 1 of Daily Mail Review of Kick-Ass- Shock horror it`s worth a laugh though

I felt this deserved a separate thread and outside the movies section due to the fact that is just a typical Daily Mail article.


I`ve come across this through my friend Dom`s blog (who in turn got it from Charlie Brooker) so it`s only fair I post it direct as it is in the blog.


A Kick-Ass Review of the Daily Mail Kick-Ass Review

This is not really a film review, this is a review of a film review from the Daily Mail, I've never done this on the blog before. How exciting.

So Kick-Ass - Bloody loved it, the person I went with after about 30 minutes of watching Hit-Girl tear **** up, cutting Rasta's and dropping the C-bomb, said, "I think it will encourage paedophilia". I ask why and the reply was, "cause look how hot she is." That's not encouraging paedophilia, that's exposing it. If it makes you feel better I was with Jody's wife. So that's fine.

Well, how very Daily Mail of her, which brings me nicely to, The Daily Mail Film Review - I'm going to use a poker reference here. The Daily Mail reminds me of Phil Hellmuth, when he started, people used to say what a arrogant jackass, loudmouth self-promoting douche of the highest order, and he was a little like that, but fully self aware and used that to his advantage. Now you see Phil play poker and he's become a caricature of what everyone thought of him, he's taken that persona on, and makes stupid statements, and does stupid things and is basically what everyone says he was, but he revels in it. He believed his own hype.

Which does remind me of the Daily Mail, they seem to have embraced and taken on all the lazy comedy slag's jokes that use the Daily Mail as a punch line for ignorance and intolerance and become a caricature of themselves. It is a popular paper that hate-mongers and has a clear agenda, whether you agree with it or not, but surely it can't have always been this retarded? I'm even hindering on thinking, they are totally aware of what they are doing, they are purposely writing this as that's what they think people expect from them. Well...

I'm talking about their "review" and yes the quotes are totally valid here, I would even use air-quotes if I was talking about it out loud that`s how much it bothers me, about Kick-Ass. Now, I never really go to the Daily Mail website unless someone beers me the link, in this case Charlie Brooker beer'd the link from his Twitter. So I click and just read what can only be described as ****-tardidness of the highest order.

Charlie Brooker Twitter, "sidebar on same page places 4-year-old Suri Cruise betwixt nude bum shot and bisexual True Blood star."

Click for the review here (if you hate yourself)

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Don`t be fooled by the hype: This crime against cinema is twisted, cynical, and revels in the abuse of childhoodQuote:
By Christopher TookeyQuote:
Last updated at 12:15 PM on 02nd April 2010Quote:
Kick-Ass (15)                                                                                             Verdict: EvilQuote:
Rating: Quote:
Millions are being spent to persuade you that Kick-Ass is harmless, comic-book entertainment suitable for 15-year-oldsQuote:
Don`t let them fool you. Kick-Ass has been so hyped that it is certain to be a hit. It is also bound be among the most influential movies of 2010. And that should disturb us all.

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It deliberately sells a perniciously sexualised view of children and glorifies violence, especially knife and gun crime, in a way that makes it one of the most deeply cynical, shamelessly irresponsible films everQuote:
Damaging role model: Chloe Moretz as Hit Girl in Kick-AssQuote:
The title character is nerdy American teenager Dave Lizewski (Aaron Johnson from Nowhere Boy). He yearns to be a superhero so he dresses up as one. The trouble is that he has no superpowers and - unlike Batman - no money.Quote:
His one asset as a crime fighter is that he can survive serious thrashings because his nerve-endings have been destroyed by previous beatings. Like Wolverine in X-Men, he has metal plates where some of his bones should beQuote:
The movie`s central appeal is to fanboys like Dave, who will spot the references to previous comic-strip movies, and imagine that these constitute satire. Really, the tone of the movie is deferential pasticheQuote:
The plot is an unimaginative clone of Spider-Man 2, and the screenplay - by director Matthew Vaughn and Jane Goldman, wife of comic-book enthusiast Jonathan Ross - conforms slavishly to the cliched norms of Hollywood action movies by working towards not one but two huge action set-pieces at its climax.Quote:
As a rip-off of its Hollywood betters, it is sporadically funny, efficient, and well shot  -  hence my arguably overgenerous award of one star.Quote:
The biggest problem of the movie, creatively speaking, is that it has pretensions to intelligence but is profoundly, irredeemably bone-headed.Quote:
It starts as though it`s going to expose the huge gulf between comic strips and reality, but ends up reducing the real world to the most morally fatuous kind of comic strip.Quote:
A worthwhile satire on comic-book culture might criticise the idiotic way it uses sadism and voyeurism to entertain, with no thought of the social consequences.Quote:
It would also lampoon the risible pretentiousness of many so-called graphic novels. Kick-Ass does neither.Quote:
The movie looks at first as if it might satirise the era where talentless nonentities can become celebrities. But it has nothing to say about that either.Quote:
Although it runs nearly two hours, there`s even less character development than there is social comment. Our hero learns nothing, except that extreme violence against criminals is cool, which is something he thought in the first place.Quote:
The reason the movie is sick, as well as thick, is that it breaks one of the last cinematic taboos by making the most violent, foul-mouthed and sexually aggressive character, Hit-Girl, an 11-year-old.Quote:
Played with enormous confidence by Chloe Moretz, she`s the most charismatic character in the movie. She may not realise it, but she has been systematically abused by her father, brainwashed and turned into a pint-sizedQuote:
She believes that her vigilante dad (played, simplistically, for laughs by Nicolas Cage) is a hero just as much at the end as she did at the beginning.Quote:
Her attitude towards him doesn`t mature, which makes her pathetic, rather than cool. The fact that many people who see the film are going to think she is cool is one of its most depressing aspects.Quote:
The movie`s writers want us to see Hit-Girl not only as cool, but also sexy, like an even younger version of the baby- faced Oriental assassin in Tarantino`s Kill Bill 1. Paedophiles are going to adore her.Quote:
One of the film`s creepiest aspects is that she`s made to look as seductive as possible - much more so than in the Mark Millar and John Romita Jr comic book on which this is based. She`s fetishised in precisely the same way as Angelina Jolie in the Lara Croft movies, and Halle Berry in Catwoman.Quote:
As if that isn`t exploitative enough, she`s also shown in a classic schoolgirl pose, in a short plaid-skirt with her hair in bunches, but carrying a big gun.Quote:
And she makes comments unprintable in a family newspaper, that reveal a sexual knowledge hugely inappropriate to her years.Quote:
Oh, and one of the male teenage characters acknowledges that he`s attracted to her.Quote:
Now, children committing violent and sexual acts should be a matter for concern. Children carrying knives are not cool, but a real and present danger.Quote:
Underage sex isn`t a laugh. Recent government figures revealed that in this country more than 8,000 children under the age of 16 conceive every year.Quote:
Worldwide child pornography is a multi-billion dollar industry. In Africa and South America, brutalised youngsters who kill and rape are rightly feared as members of feral gangs or child soldiers.Quote:
Movies such as City Of God, Innocent Voices and Johnny Mad Dog have treated the issue with sensitivity.Quote:
But in Kick-Ass, childish violence of the most extreme kind - hacking off limbs, shootings in the mouth, impalings and fatal stabbings - is presented with calculated flippancy, as funny, admirable and (most perversely of all) sexually arousing.Quote:
The film-makers are sure to argue that there`s nothing wrong with breaking down taboos of taste - but there are often good reasons for taboos.Quote:
Do we really want to live, for instance, in a culture when the torture and killing of a James Bulger or Damilola Taylor is re-enacted by child actors for laughs?Quote:
The people behind this grotesque glorification of prematurely sexualised, callously violent children know full well that they are going to make a lot of money, and they`ll get an easy ride from the vast majority of reviewers, who either don`t care about the social effects of movies or are frightened to appear ` moralistic` or `judgmental`.Quote:
The truth is, of course, that all critics moralise and make judgments, whether they realise they are doing so or not. So please don`t be misled. Kick-Ass is not the harmless fun it pretends to be.Quote:
Yes, it`s lightweight and silly, but it`s also cynical, premeditated and mindbogglingly irresponsible.Quote:
And in Hit-Girl, the film-makers have created one of the most disturbing icons and damaging role-models in the history of cinema.
I'm sure you've made your own opinion on the review, but how mental is that? It seems the reviewer was basically at the vinegar stroke throughout the whole film, if it was dark room he would of jacked it, everything sounds like he found everything sexy but doesn't want to be exposed.

Which is the main thing that bothers me, it's not a film review, it's a morals review, if you want to do an article on the film and make up facts don't put it in the TV and showbiz section with review stars next to it, be upfront and say, "we think we know what is morally right and we will tell you why you are wrong." Don't put a verdict of EVIL - you Christopher Tookey of the Daily Mail are a ****ing moron.

Another thing he does is patronise you, just because he clearly needs help for his barely covered lusting of young girls, he implies that you will become a nonce from just watching it, he mentions the girl in a school uniform, now, I've not been to school for years since the court case and tagging, but I'm pretty sure they still have school uniform in many places, so the school-aged girl in the school uniform is a peodo-trap? Never let Christopher Tookey do the car run.

Another bit which baffles the mind manages to throw in James Bulger and Damilola Taylor. Um, what? No, seriously, What the **** are you talking about?

Now you can read what I've just written and think, this is stupid, you can think, I'm paraphrasing and coming to totally the wrong conclusions from his review, then you can read his review, and decide that no matter what **** I write, it is nowhere near as ****ing retarded as dumb **** conflicted possible-peodo Christopher Tookey .

My Verdict: A ****ING MOVIE WHERE I DIDN'T WANT TO **** A 12 YEAR OLD GIRL DAILY MAIL YOU DUMB ****S.



Great film though. One of my favourites for a while. Really well made, great cast, with comedy bits and inventive action scenes. I liked that they didn`t do how most fight scenes seem to be filmed, by giving the cameraman a seizure so you can`t tell what`s really happening. Nick Cage was ace again, and I felt pumped through the whole thing. I could **** to that movie. I give them permission to quote me if needed.


www.last.fm/user/1mills

This item was edited on Thursday, 8th April 2010, 13:07

Hmmm, I was really liking the way that looked in the new editor as it looked right complete with the pictures etc in the right places but when it actually posts it it turns the review into mutiple quotes, decreases size on certain parts etc etc.

www.last.fm/user/1mills

I think I can fix that, as I think I know why it does it. Also there is a new version of the editor that fixes the undo bug.


Editor
DVD REVIEWER
MYREVIEWER.COM

"The Green Belt policy is a Labour Policy, and we intend to Build on it"
John Prescott

yesterday DVD reviewer "sends me" to a link which tells me I should vote BNP
today DVD Reviewer "sends me" to a link saying I`m a paedo for watching a film and enjoying it ;)

Maybe I should go DVD Reviewer cold Turkey before I feel the need to confront my inner demons!

I can understand some-one not liking a film, or not getting it, but that is certainly an odd "review". (As suggested earlier quotes are necessary)

Sometimes I`ll watch a film and think about a young actress "she`ll be nice in a few years", but that didn`t cross my mind in Kick-Ass, let alone impure thoughts of her at that age! Actually now I think about it, I don`t think there was any eye candy for me or the missus, now that`s very rare in a film.

maybe the article is written by some-one who wants to step up to Mary Whitehouse`s vacant position?

it`s amusing that
Quote:
We are no longer accepting comments on this article.
I guess if the first few comments point out the author of the article is an arse they stop the comments ;) Reminds me of that insensitive article written on Daily Mail`s site when that gay pop star died recently, Charlie Brooker had a go at them about that to. Daily Mail edited it the same day.

This item was edited on Thursday, 8th April 2010, 19:34

With regard to the Kick-Ass controversy, you may be interested in a further piece I have written about the all too numerous people who have abused myself and other critics over the internet. A necessarily abbreviated and watered-down version of my article, for family consumption, was published in the Daily Mail this morning, 29th April, 2010 and can be found on Daily Mail online. The full, unexpurgated version - HOW I FELL FOUL OF THE INTERNET LYNCH MOB- can be found at http://www.movie-film-review.com/devFilm.asp?ID=15578.

I believe this is one of the most important pieces I have ever written about film. Please read it with care, and link to it if you have your own website. Best regards. Christopher Tookey.

You out of a job then and peddling your reviews here now?



In Madness You Dwell

Does this mean that Christopher Tookey is suicidal and felt the need to share by joining DVD Reviewer to divert traffic to a site where he defends himself and decrys cyber bullying?

Nosferatu.MyReviewer.com
My DVD Collection

Mr Tookey, having just read your article, may I just say........ grow up!
If you air your salacious opinions in such a public forum as a national newspaper, then surely you must prepare yourself for the backlash.

I know nothing of this film, beyond the trailers that have been shown on TV, however, by branding a film, `a paedophiles dream`, you are immediately going to tar anybody that has seen and enjoyed this film, with that brush. That in turn, is seriously going to annoy people, as most, I`m sure, would not like to be referred to in such a manner.

Then you start crying about internet bullying, and you can understand how it feels to be bullied for being fat or gay etc?

I`m sorry, but I`m 40 years old, I have raised two mixed-race sons and two white step-daughters, believe me, you know nothing of bullying. You are simply using this whole furore, which I might add, is of your own fabrication, to shamelessly promote yourself and your wares.

Oh, and by the way, attacking people for having poor spelling and grammar is low, very low, and again, shows a certain character trait inherent in a bully.

Coming to the land of amateur reviewers and expecting a bit of sympathy is understable but quite frankly I thought your `review` was nothing of the kind.  How you not only came to the conclusion that paedophiles would love this film but then not expect a severe reaction from people who liked or even loved this film is quite beyond me.  I found your comparisons in the initial piece baffingly enough without even considering the follow up piece.

The kind of reactions you get across the internet are quite commonplace these days but there is no way for you know if the comments are from butch lonely lorry driver Barry from Hull aged 55 or publically shy Karl, 11 from Munich or a huge geographic mix due to the global meeting place that is the internet.  You see, your piece of writing went viral, it`s just a shame it wasn`t because it was any good....

---------

Si Wooldridge
Reviewer



http://synth.myreviewer.com

Quote:
With regard to the Kick-Ass controversy, you may be interested in a further piece I have written about the all too numerous people who have abused myself and other critics over the internet
I have a feeling you `abuse` yourself regularly, quite possibly to pictures of Hit-Girl. Oh, and only self-important arses use `myself` in that way when `me` would do just fine (and, you know, be correct). Aren`t you a journalist? Oh wait...