Page 1 of Best Man Speech

Evening all

I`m best man at a wedding in a couple of weeks & am after some inspiration for my speech. Anyone got any good jokes/tales that I can borrow that won`t cause too much offence?

Cheers

Si



Our Collection (including the ones that belong to the kids!)

`I have something to say. It`s better to burn out than to fade away.`

My Bruv-In-Law/Best Man had a good`un..

Quote:
It`s been said that Marriage is a game of 2 halves...

Whoever said that obviously knows nothing about marriages or fractions

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I ate what?


My Collection

The line `Ladies and Gentlemen I am sure you will agree they are a lovely pair ... well <insert brides name> certainly is` tends to go down well, i have even heard the father of the bride deliver it! :o :D

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...some kind of superstar*

The best best man speech I ever heard contained the following gag:
`Ladies and gentlemen, you may not know this, but the groom (insert his name) almost didn`t make it to his own wedding. Until yesterday, he was seriously ill in hospital suffering from premature ejaculation; indeed, some of the nurses told me that it was touch and go there for a while.`
Even the assembled parents of the bride and groom laughed hard at that one.

Start with "FORNICATION...

(pause)

"For an occasion such as this... blah blah..."

For a mates wedding the best man had arranged for most of the lads there to be given an old key. During his speech he mentioned that the bride, since becoming engaged and now married has changed her ways and asks that could her house key now be returned, at this point about twenty blokes in the room stood up and put the keys in a pile on her table.

Made me laugh anyway. :D

Hugh Grant`s speech in 4W and a F is worth watching for inspiration...

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"Either this guy`s dead, or my watch has stopped."

Yeah, already got the key gag lined up. This is great. Keep `em coming (please!!!)

Cheers

Si



Our Collection (including the ones that belong to the kids!)

`I have something to say. It`s better to burn out than to fade away.`

Hello,

I personally found this book really good when I was a best man. Apart from being really good fun to read, it gave me loads of lines for my speech.

here it is http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0572018967/ref=ase_weddingcouk0c/026-0736927-9827630?tag=myrev09-21
Whether you get the book or not, good luck!

Neil.

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Quote:
For a mates wedding the best man had arranged for most of the lads there to be given an old key. During his speech he mentioned that the bride, since becoming engaged and now married has changed her ways and asks that could her house key now be returned, at this point about twenty blokes in the room stood up and put the keys in a pile on her table.

Made me laugh anyway.

I saw this at a wedding recently, it was very very funny... :D

Hey Dance, maybe it was the same one?....

This item was edited on Thursday, 22nd July 2004, 14:14