Page 1 of Introduction to MD tonight...what do you say?

Ok, as some of you may remember I recently started a new job at Fox Kids.

Tonight is an "Introduction" drinks night. Tonight I have to stand up in front of the whole work force and the MD and tell them "A secret that no-one else knows about me"

So how far is too far? what do you say?

My favourite is that I once wrote to Jim`L Fix it
But also tempted to say something vile for shock value.

I want to go for "Funny, yet cool" and get respect with it.
Now I could totally lie and make something up - maybe steal one
of "Haggis" stories from these threads? - or is that too far?

So help us out here....

Tell them that you`re the "Luton sack murderer"

If you tell one of the "Haggis" stories expect to be sacked on the spot!

Although the Jim`L Fix it story does sound rather naff. Maybe something outrageous you`ve done on holiday or something?

How about telling them that you looked for advice from the geeks on a dvd forum? Now that`ll get them mumbling into their pints... ;-)

Incidentially I include myself in that geek comment.
Everyone`s had a funny/embarrassing/weird situation with your parents/mates/girlfriend/boyfriend that`s worth a chuckle...

Tell them you raped a dead sheep. That should clear the place out ;-)

I`m afraid all of my stories are copyright.. you`ll have to come up with your own depraved tale

Depends how far you want to go in the company. These things can be a real nightmare... I`ve heard of people who were literally asked to leave after their secret was out.

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Gruntboy
Absolute B*stard

Well it does make me feel slightly better after reading Haggis` stories, means mine could never be as bad.

Well, ok i`ll keep the lame Jim`L Fix it, story if the other "new starters" stories are as lame, but if they reveal something funnier than i planned then i will have to resort to the "I once nearly ran Marilyn from Home and Away over with a large two wheeled trolly"
or "I used to be a lady called Hilda"

Easy - before hand put on womens underwear, complete with stockings & suspenders and when its your turn simply get up on stage and strip. You could complete it by lap dancing for the MD.