Review for 12 (DVD)

Introduction

We changed over from the random disc allocation system some while ago, which is why we reviewers mostly play to our strengths now, chasing after the titles that interest us the most. That said, the random unsolicited disc does turn up from time to time, and me being anal about it, I do feel the obligation to review it, even if it isn't up my particular alley. I guess it's my appreciation for Hong Kong action cinema that got 12 sent my way, but taking a brief look at the blurb showed something a lot more homegrown. 12 is a UK born action movie, low budget, independent, and with a gritty realistic grounding in martial arts, especially the mixed martial arts scene. We have fans of MMA and the like on the review team, and I thought I'd drop them a line, make sure that the right person for the review got to look at the disc. Not one reply… I guess they all knew something I didn't know. Well I know it now too…


This film is writer/producer/director Chee Keong Cheung's debut feature, originally released as Underground; it has been renamed 12 for the DVD release. 12 tells the story of an illegal underground fighting tournament, with 12 combatants competing for a £500,000 prize. There is the teacher, the instructor, the soldier, the policeman, the kid, the delinquent, the priest, the ex-con, the homeless, the foreigner, the triad, and the model. The six backers lay on bets, and in a no holds barred tournament, the last man standing will win.

Picture

The 1.78:1 anamorphic transfer is clear enough, given the blender of post-production that has seen this digitally shot movie sharpened, colour corrected, bleach bypassed, artificially grained, over exposed, and pretty much any other technique in the digital filmmaker's arsenal. It does make the most of the industrial and derelict locations, and other than some aliasing and moiré (which may be more the source material than the DVD), it all looks fine enough. The obvious attraction of the film is the fight choreography, which is inventive while grounded in the real world, but as so often happens in modern action films, it's buried under editorial excess, plenty of fast cuts, close ups and shaky cam. It's certainly not the revolution in British action cinema that the blurb proclaims.

Sound

You have a choice between DD 5.1 and 2.0 English, although there are no subtitles. The dialogue is clear throughout, sadly, and the action comes across well. With 13 fights, 13 brutal smackdowns, I came to the realisation that the sound editors needed a larger foley library. The music is surprisingly high budget for such a low budget production, and the orchestral score does well to drive the action and punctuate the drama.

Extras

12 doesn't do too badly in the extra features stakes, especially for fans of homegrown low budget indie action cinema.

There is an 8-minute long Behind The Scenes featurette, where the cast and crew talk about the film amidst some behind the scenes footage.

Anatomy of a Fight Scene lasts 3 minutes, and shows you the rehearsal footage, the final sequence, and a split screen comparison of the Homeless vs. Triad fight.

There are seven cast interviews on this disc running to a total of 32 minutes. They follow the same format of talking to the actors about their backgrounds in martial arts, and their experiences on the film.


There are 12 deleted scenes running to 10 minutes, 3 trailers (including a Japanese one. They get our schlock and we get theirs. Seems fair) and 5 TV spots, a Photo Gallery with 12 images, 35 cast and crew biographies, and 3 pages of production notes.

The Pain and Glory Event offers 7 minutes of MMA action, with Leon Walters, in action against Guy Golden. There is also a 6-minute preview of a documentary featuring Mark Strange.

Finally there is a preview of Chee Keong Cheung's next movie, Bodyguard: A New Beginning.

Notably absent from the extra features is any contribution from director Chee Keong Cheung.

Conclusion

I want my ninety minutes back!

12 is an awful movie, tiresome, turgid, and un-entertaining. Don't get me wrong, if you like action, if you like well-choreographed fight sequences, some gritty, brutal realism in your hand-to-hand combat, and you can put up with shaky-grainy cam and hyperactive editing, then you'll get some satisfaction from 12. But if you want emotion, drama, a narrative, and good acting, all that stuff that movies are really made of, then forget it; 12 fails in every aspect.


Oh, and the dialogue stinks. There's no other word for it. There's a foul stench emanating from my speakers whenever any of the characters speak. You'd think it would be the martial artists cast as the combatants who are the prime offenders, but it's actually the backers, the actors who should know better, who have to say some of the most excruciating dialogue. We're talking actors of the calibre of Cat from Red Dwarf, Dr Legg from Eastenders, Not Dennis Waterman from Minder.


By far the worst offender is the promoter, Fidel, although that's because he gets the most dialogue, as he also serves as narrator to the film. You'd also think that it's the martial artists that are the acting weak link in the film, but they never get a chance to act. This film was meant to meld action and melodrama, but it doesn't actually develop the fighter's characters, or explore their back-stories. It's all because Fidel narrates it all. He tells us what the fighters' motivations are, what they are feeling, what they are thinking, he basically hand holds us through the whole film. What happened to Showing and not Telling? It's dull, boring and monotonous. It's a collection of action sequences joined together by a load of naff bits that you wind up fast forwarding through, and by the end of the film, Fidel's voice is as annoying as a stadium full of vuvuzelas (That metaphor won't be relevant that long, but by damn, I'm going to use it)!


You think there might be more to this film. Fidel always has an evil smirk on his face, and more than once, a random heavy whispers into his ear. But that's a red herring. There really is nothing to the movie bar the action. Now for the random stream of consciousness trivia… This film's tagline is "there can be only one winner". That's not too far from Highlander's, although this film isn't even as exciting as Highlander Endgame. Christopher Lambert was in Mortal Kombat, as was Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa, who played Shang Tsung. Tagawa is also in Bodyguard: A New Beginning, Chee Keong Cheung's next film. But really, when it comes to martial arts tournament movies, I'd rather watch Mortal Kombat. No, I'd rather watch Mortal Kombat: Annihilation. If it's the illegal fight scene that interests you, then go for Any Which Way You Can, or Every Which Way But Loose. They've got an orang-utan in them.


Incidentally, I did say that the fights were brutal, intense and more realistic. But I have to reconsider. What fight realistically has one antagonist yelling "Come on!" waiting for the other guy to catch his breath, spit out some blood and teeth, and gather himself for another try? A genuinely realistic fight would have Fighter A kicking Fighter B until he was down, then kicking him further until he was unconscious, then kicking him in the fork until he stopped twitching for good measure. Maybe that's a little too realistic. As a film, 12 is best avoided. But I do think there is some value to it as a showcase to various stuntmen's talents. It must work too, as following this film, Joey Ansah (The Model) got cast in The Bourne Ultimatum.

I really do want my ninety minutes back…