Page 2 of Words of advice and thoughts (and support?)

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RE: Words of advice and thoughts (and support?)

RJS (undefined) posted this on Sunday, 30th August 2015, 16:13

Quote:
mbilko says...
"I would imagine if someone tried to take mine from me then all bets would be off and I would use everything in my power to get them back"

The problem with the nuclear option is innocent people always get hurt, and once you've pushed that button, you can never unpress it.


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RE: Words of advice and thoughts (and support?)

Si Wooldridge (Reviewer) posted this on Sunday, 30th August 2015, 19:21

I agree, it takes the better person to just keep hold of it.

If you have to use it, only do it when you absolutely must - not when temptation strikes in anger.

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RE: Words of advice and thoughts (and support?)

Choagy (Elite) posted this on Sunday, 30th August 2015, 19:42

Quote:
Gavski says...
"So here I am stuck. What I hate is that all of a sudden I have no rights to see my daughter and have been threatened with arrest if I try and see her. (she's in the police if you may remember) She has told me she is taking out an anti-molestation order against me so I can't phone or write or turn up (although the solicitor has said these don't exist and has no idea where my wife has got this information from)"
Just my tuppence worth mate and in all probability just the ramblings of an uneducated slob
Firstly I am very sorry about all the scheitte you are going through , but this paragraph speaks volumes on your ex-partner and her motives or plans. The fact she is in the police means absolutely phuq all in the eyes of the law, a uniform does not instantly or automatically mean the wearer possesses virtuous standards and is unimpeachable or even trustworthy. An anti molestation award would , I imagine, need to be backed up by some form of record of prior unsavoury or threatening incidents (Recorded by either the local constabulary or social work department or even both) in the time before and during the break up of the relationship. Otherwise the threat is just that and a very dangerous path to tread for your ex partner which is designed to hurt you and alienate your child from you for your ex partners  reasons. The "Superior officer" involved, personally now it appears, could be treading a very dangerous line if he is indeed coaching your ex partner to make spurious and probably libellous  comments and threats. The simple and provable fact that she has ignored communication from your legal representative regarding what appears to be your legal right of contact with your bairn possibly leaves her open to sanction or action by the courts in the event it goes to court. Maybe a bit muddled or mixed up but hope you get my drift
Keep your head up mate, as others may know my laddie and his partner split up at the turn of the year and now not only he but my good lady and me are poison according to his ex-partner. Verbally abused twice and ignored repeatedly. But hey ho, I have broad shoulders

Choagy FFCUK The SPL 45% Devils Spawn Apparently

RE: Words of advice and thoughts (and support?)

Snaps (Elite) posted this on Monday, 31st August 2015, 00:21

I always hesitate to get involved on threads like this, not because I don't care or sympathise, more that it always seems easy to sort someone else's problems.
Once they're yours things become a lot more involved.

How you react depends a lot on your character and as you seem to be doing it all right to me maybe we're similar in some way.

Just make sure that whatever goes down you can still look at yourself in the mirror and your daughter in the eye.

Good luck





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RE: Words of advice and thoughts (and support?) UPDATE**

Gavski (Elite) posted this on Saturday, 5th December 2015, 21:17

I wanted to post an update as it's been a little while.

That little while is now just over four months since I saw my little girl.
Three letters from my solicitor, mediation letters and calls and finally a court date means last week (on the day she received the court summons) I got a phone call from my wife.

We actually had a decent chat after not speaking since the first week of August, discussed all the details etc. She agreed to let me send my daughter a parcel and assured me it would reach her. She doesn't want to go to court (who does?) and couldn't we just resolve now? All agreed with her. So I asked her to contact relevant departments to allow me to see my daughter. She said she would get this done by the end of the week and be in touch.

I walked away with a smile.

This week...I haven't heard a bean. So I call her. Did I not get the letter and return to court? 
She has written back to court requesting it is postponed on the grounds she'd now like to go to mediation to discuss further. Mediation was arranged for her back in September and she just ignored the letters and phone call. She also wrote a letter to my solicitor telling her of this decision and outlining maintenance and schools etc (now we covered this in out phone call before, so this was a complete surprise)
The solicitor emailed the scanned letter and court form she had written so I could see. Turns out the letter is not in her "language" and the form is not written in her handwriting. The letter "in a course tone" is actually dated the same day as our phone conversation. And here's the best bit...on the court form "they" have ticked they feel the child would be in danger!!! Now I have never ever raised my hand or voice to anyone in my life. I'm furious. 

Also the parcel I sent filled with clothes and goodies and card have not been given to her.

We now go to court on 15th. And I have a meeting with CAFCASS next week to discuss plan etc.

:/


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RE: Words of advice and thoughts (and support?) UPDATE**

RJS (undefined) posted this on Saturday, 5th December 2015, 22:28

That sounds horrendous, I hope you get to see your daughter before the year is out, I can't imagine what it's like being separated for so long with no end in sight.

I think all you can do now is keep contact through your solicitor, and put your faith in CAFCASS.

It's highly likely even if you do get access sorted out, that everything will be smooth sailing from there on. It sucks, and you'll probably have to get used to her constantly trying to move the goal posts.

Just hold onto the fact that your daughter is worth it.

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RE: Words of advice and thoughts (and support?) UPDATE**

admars (Elite) posted this on Saturday, 5th December 2015, 22:38

really sorry to hear about your continued problems. Let's just hope things sort themselves out for the best, and get sorted out as soon as possible.

As I said before, although not as extreme as your situation a couple of my good friends who had painful split ups involing children, managed to stay strong, and have good relationships with their children, so fingers crossed all goes well for you.

RE: Words of advice and thoughts (and support?) UPDATE**

Gavski (Elite) posted this on Tuesday, 15th December 2015, 22:12

Back from court.

I think its safe to say I won. Access returned, court order signed there and then by the judge. Having my daughter for Christmas Eve and then every weekend from there on.

Five months lost, so now the rebuilding to begin. Just a few t's to cross and i's to dot with CAFCASS in January.

Highlight of the day, the judge barring her boyfriend from the room.
Even after her claiming they were friends and he was just there for support. My barrister commented afterwards that after she managed to have a chat to my wife before going in she duly noted that the boyfriend was trying to control her answers and she kept looking to him for "am I saying the right thing".

Merry Christmas everyone and thank you for all your support.


I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which i`m dying are the best i`ve ever had.

RE: Words of advice and thoughts (and support?) UPDATE**

bandicoot (Elite) posted this on Tuesday, 15th December 2015, 22:16

Glad of the result for you.

Hoping 2016 is a better year for you.

Merry Christmas.

RE: Words of advice and thoughts (and support?) UPDATE**

admars (Elite) posted this on Tuesday, 15th December 2015, 22:24

glad to hear things are going in the right direction,
good luck and all the best


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